#52WoG: A Friend #Arundhati

I wont be writing about ‘A Friend 1’ and later ‘A Friend 2’ because I strongly believe that there is no other friend of mine who deserves to be appreciated and shown gratitude for being what he is.  

Dear Sameer,  

I have known you for a decade. You have always been a good friend and PHILOSOPHER! You know why the philosopher is in capitals. We met each other through our blogs. We used to chat online sometimes and once I decided to surprise him on his birthday by calling him. We used to wish each other on birthdays via phone calls and chat about anything under the sun. But its only since the past 4-5 years we have started discussing our joys, sorrows and anger. I have always called you my Instruction Manual. Anytime, I would be technologically challenged I knew he was just a call away.   

We finally met on 27th September, 2012. I remember the date because I met Sunny a day after. Sameer had accompanied me (a bundle of nerves) when I went to meet Sunny. He dropped me at the station and calmed down my frantic thoughts. He has always been a backbone. Be it breakups, family problems, work issues ... I have always seen him ‘listening’ to me. Also, because I rarely let people talk. Hehe! I can’t imagine a world without my support engineer! Hehe! I really want to thank you for the person you are, Sameer! Extremely reliable, caring, straightforward and loving. Be the way you are always! Wishing you all the happiness and love you deserve! Because you really deserve it. I can’t write much because you know I am better at expressing myself while talking than writing. Happy Birthday, Sam! And cheers to a decade and many more.  

Love, 

Your Best Friend ... Aru 

#52WoG: A Friend (1) #Kavya

She wasn’t tall, but the class teacher asked her to be seated in the last bench. Destiny and its wonders! She was the tomboy of the school and I never understood the concept of tomboy, I was of the opinion that she is posh (ok assumed) because she hailed from family that owned one the first and biggest supermarket in Mysore and consumers of that store were the elite class. 

In a classroom of 80, we were the only two girls who chose Sanskrit as our first language; we had to shift classes during the language periods. In the other section, we were strangers in the neighbouring class and often ragged in silly ways. That’s when we got close, entire batch of students opted for tuitions as the Sanskrit teacher resigned in the mid of the academic year. We both didn’t and it was considered foolish. How can one not join tuition classes conducted at home from the same teacher who was our new Sanskrit teacher? Who’d not want the brownie points, well both of us didn’t. 

Our rebellion attitude got us close, I am sure. We are close since 1998, we hardly see each other, not even once a year, nor do we speak daily, I don’t even know if she is on whatsapp, most of the times we end up not even wishing each other on our birthdays but the moment we meet, nothing matters. 

There are 40+ friends from school on my Facebook profile, about whom I know a lot because of the updates they share, her presence on social media is close to nil, but even without conversations there is a bond, that speaks for itself. 

Thank you Neha, for friendship beyond connectivity, boundaries and conversations!

#52WoG: The City You Live In #Arundhati

Mumbai: My heart beats for this city. My Mumbai, My Bombay! It is truly said that Mumbai is a city; Bombay is an emotion. Mumbai, a land of dreams, opportunities, happiness, drama, noise ... one can see every array of emotion in this beautiful city. Bombay, my city. Its hustle bustle, the people, the warmth, I love everything about my city. It is truly a city that never sleeps. Go out for a walk at 2 a.m and you will still see people drinking tea at a tea stall. The beach, the salty smell of the sea, the warmth in the weather is also seen in the people. I have visited other cities and have never been able to get over the life as a Mumbaikar. I start missing the sound of traffic, people, within four days of my trip to any other city. My first introduction to Bombay was Chowpatty. My grandparents (paternal) would stay very close to the beach near Opera House. Evenings were meant for long walks on the beach, making sand castles and eating chaats. A weekend would be spent visiting the aquarium, the museums and gardens full of greenery and slides, swings and see-saws. Every summer vacation, we would visit my maternal grandparents in Pune and within a week I would start grumbling, “Apan Bombay la parat kadhi jaicha?” (When do we go back to Bombay?) As I grew up, started going to college, I was introduced to the daily train travel. The chaotic train timings, crowded trains, fighting to get down at your station and finally huffing and puffing my way to college. Exploring Bombay by visiting different places, monuments, theatres, malls, heritage buildings, beaches, amusement parks, NGOs and slums. I was very upset when we had to write ‘Mumbai’ instead of ‘Bombay’ officially. I felt like the word doesn’t describe the true essence of my city. Truly, Bombay is an emotion! Though it is not an easy city to live in; it is addictive and fascinating! I am very possessive about my city...BOMBAY! My most favourite places in Bombay are Juhu Beach and now the Bandra Worli Sea Link.

Aye dil hai mushkil jeena yahaan... Zaraa hatke zaraa bachke yeh hai Bombay meri jaan...

#52WoG : The city you live in. #Kavya

If Bangalore is a stressed city and Mandya is an angered city, Mysore would be take a chill pill yaar city. People here are laid back and this attitude defines the city – Pensioners paradise. Forget bar culture, the only culture you will find here is agriculture. By 9:30 p.m. people finish their dinner and tuck themselves under blanket, it has been that and no one complains; one who complains makes a trip to Bangalore over the weekend. You can reach your destination within thirty mins time in this city, not because the place is small but because there is no traffic.  

During my engineering days I always dreamt of working in Bangalore, I loved the hustle bustle, the chaos and the traffic, but destiny had different plans and I landed up at Software Paradigms Infotech, no one in Mysore knew about the company then. Today, I am a known name in the organization. My take home was funny compared to what my friends had, but I let them laugh. I had no plans of working for a long time, but again destiny had different plans. Ireland just remained a dreamland and I married a guy who takes the city very seriously; so much that he cancels travel if it is more than a week. When there were issues related to “expanding” family, we made plans of shifting for better medical facilities, but behold - destiny again had different plans – Shelly and Missy arrived. Twins embraced me, I embraced mother and mother-in-law and they have embraced the city, long back.  

Thank you Mysore for the job that I love, that gives me recognition and nurtures my creativity like no other.  

Thank you Mysore for the man I am trying to love, who gives me huge hope as a father.  

Thank you Mysore for the twins I am learning ways to love, making sure I stay grounded with family and the city.        

#52WoG: Express Gratitude to 3 People #Sameer

Just 3 people? That was my first reaction when I read the subject for the week. Simply because there are many people I am thankful for, each one for a reason of their own. Some of them have been covered in my earlier posts as well. But since the title says 3, I am simply going to list the first three that come to my mind.

My mom – Now this one is pretty obvious. If there is someone to whom I owe my entire existence, that person is going to figure at the top of any damn list. Mom, I am thankful to you for all that you have given me, making my life easier, and all that you have not given me, teaching me how to be patient and wait to get my due. You are all that I could have wished for, and more. :)

Bunny – This is what I used to call my ex. The reason she finds a place here is because she was the first girl ever to tell me that she loved me and wanted to spend her life with me. More than anything else, she was the one who gave me the confidence that I was worth enough for someone to want to spend their life with. Though you are no longer a part of my life, you will always continue to hold a special place of your own in it.

My college friends – Yes, I am mentioning them as a bunch here because, they were collectively responsible for making the dreaded engineering college days one of the most cherished ones. We went through highs and lows together, the crushing defeats and the exhilarating joys. Those were the days when wide-eyed naivety mixed well with newfound cynicism and a persistent optimism. We all emerged a lot stronger and wiser, and I have you guys to thank for that.

#52WoG: A Friend (1) #Sameer

This is a rather difficult one. I had a tough time deciding which friend I wanted to write about. Not because I have a lot of them, but because I have very few of them, and they mean a lot to me for a variety of reasons. While someone has been with me since my childhood and has seen me go from what I was to what I am, someone crossed my paths in my formative years and knows me in a way that many others do not. Yet someone came to know me largely in a professional capacity and has grown to be a close friend over the years. It was indeed a tough choice and finally I decided to write about someone who has witnessed the most amount of change in me (as a person) over the years that she has known me. 

It is said that friendships forged during childhood usually turn out to be the strongest ones. I do not agree completely to this one, though I agree with it in principle. I think the amount of change in circumstances, personalities, situations that one sees over the period of the friendship is what tests and forges a friendship. And in this respect, there can hardly be any other person in my life more appropriate than the one I am going to talk about today – Arundhati, or Aru, as I (and many others) call her.

Next month (or maybe this one – I don’t remember exactly), it will be a decade since I have known Aru. I was newly introduced to the internet those days and used to do a lot of random blog-hopping. On one such afternoon, I came across her blog. Liking what I read, I left a comment (with a link to my blog, of course). She read mine, commented and we kept in touch via blogs for some time. After that, we moved on to chatting (Yahoo Messenger was HUGE those days, if anyone remembers) and then along came Orkut and Gmail/Google Talk. Admittedly, the earlier years of our friendship were nothing much to talk about. In fact, we used to talk only twice a year – once on her birthday, once on mine. :D I was also much more of a heavy duty philosophy fellow back then as compared to now. This wasn’t something she liked too much. :P We started talking more regularly after a fallout with a common friend and since then, we have not really looked back. She has ALWAYS been there whenever I needed someone to talk to, to offer (or not offer) her unique brand of advice, or just to hear all the crap that I can spout (philosophy dies hard, you see). I have tried to be there for her as well. We both have seen each other go through many ups and downs, and it has been an eventful journey so far.

I cannot begin to explain how thankful I am to have a friend like Aru, and I won’t. She knows, and that is enough for me. This is just to tell her (once again) what she means to me. However, I can definitely say that having her around has made life a lot more fun, and happy. As we complete a decade of this wonderful (and at times, blunderful) friendship, I have only this to say – Stay crazy, we already have enough sanity around. :)

#52WoG: The City You Live In #Sameer

Now this is something that is a no-brainer. Having lived in only one city all my life makes this easy for me. Mumbai (I have always called it Mumbai, no Bombay business for me) was, is and will always remain THE city for me. Being born in this city and having spent all my life here makes me very grateful for all that I have experienced so far. Now, one can write reams and reams about how this city is the best, or the worst, depending on how you look at it.

I can only speak about what this city has given me, the experiences that I have had here and what it means to me.  

First of all, this city is my birthplace. As someone who sticks to his roots and has absolutely no nomadic traits, it is natural that I am very attached to Mumbai. Simply put, I just don’t know any other city this closely to fall in love with. Not even my native place, which used to be my summer home every year, holds the same charm for me. Secondly, the people in this city make this city worthwhile. One may complain about the ever-increasing crowd and how the city is bursting on the seams under the load, but one can never deny the human spirit of this city. This is the country’s financial capital, but it is not drunk on money. You can see a super-rich skyscraper right next to a slum, and both are equally instrumental in making this city what it is. Thirdly, I love the freedom that this city gives me. Nobody really bothers you unless you bother them. Everybody generally minds their own business, until they need to poke their nose into yours. When you are stuck or struck by something, you can count on the Mumbaikars to try and help you out. They may not always succeed, but they will try. Numerous disasters have struck this city, and we all know how this city has rose back and tackled them. This is something that this city has taught me – to not make a fuss of tragedy and to get back to business. That is something I will always be thankful for.

And now for the most important reason I love this city for – the sea. I doubt if I will be able to love any other city like I love Mumbai. But if I do, it surely has to have a seafront. That is how much I love the sea. It has been a witness to many of my cherished moments – of both joy and grief, of companionship and loneliness, of love and longing. It is a fairly long travel from my place to Marine Drive, but once I reach there and see the evening sun dissolving into the horizon, it is worth the trip. Bonus points if I have a hand to hold when I watch the sun going down.

And yes, this is perhaps the only city where distance is measured in minutes and hours instead of miles and kilometers – a boon for a geographically challenged person like me. :D

#52WoG: Something Someone Gave You #Sameer

This was something that I thought would be easy to write about. After all, I have always been more on the giving side than on the receiving side of gifts. Or so I thought. Turns out, it is not like that. There is a lot that I have received from loved ones – many gifts, tangible as well as intangible. While some of them had an occasion tied to them (most commonly, my birthday), some were given just like that. And being the hoarder that I am when it comes to gifts, I still have each and every gift with me. Except for one, which I am going to write about today.

Just like the gift, the person who gave me the gift has also got lost in the sands of time (which have blown rather rapidly). The gift that I am talking about is a small teddy bear, given to me by my ex. Normally, one is not supposed to talk about such gifts for the fear of digging up painful memories. I, however find a smile on my lips when I remember Dubby as we used to call him. Rather than looking at it as a memoir of something that no longer exists, I prefer to look at it as a recollection of something beautiful that was. Now funnily, I was never supposed to have/get Dubby. It was on a random Saturday evening that I happened to notice this small teddy bear in a shop window. Stuffed toys were never (and still aren’t) my thing – I am a card/letter/note person. I told her that I liked it and want to buy it for her. “Oh that? No. That isn’t too great,” was her casual reply. After some time, I forgot about it. Next evening, she handed me over the very same teddy and said, “This is Dubby. Keep him with you whenever I am not there. He is my private detective and will keep a watch on you.”

After that, Dubby was a permanent fixture on my home desk. Even when she ceased to be a part of my life, Dubby was still there. Even with all the memories attached, Dubby never brought any grief to me. He just stood there and witnessed the ups and downs I went through. He watched me break down to pieces, and then rebuild myself again – with the same unrelenting, if artificial, smile. One day, when I was not home, one of my baby nieces took a liking to Dubby and mom gave it away to her. It was a couple of days before I realized that. I didn’t feel sad. I think Dubby had already completed his designated job of keeping an eye on me. It was time for him to move on to another assignment.

#52WoG: Something someone gave you #Kavya

There are two types of people – ones who believe in Valentine’s Day and who don’t; you were the one who didn’t even know there is a day for reserved love and I was dating you.  In seven years of togetherness, you never wanted to celebrate the day once.

It was not about “why have just one day for love” argument but you never agreed; there was no reason but it never happened. Initially I cribbed, then complained, later fought and finally gave up, and I always wondered how a celebration which was important to me did not hold any kind of significance in your life.

But the last year that we were together it happened, you gave me this!

After constant irking you told me why this day is about mourning to you, but yet got me the gift and a red rose.

I let go everything darls, hundreds of letters, movie tickets and keepsake bills, recently some of the dreams too but this is something I never could dispose or throw. Thank you for telling me “I was made for you”

At times when I feel helpless, it’s in my hand. Because “mere haath main tera haath ho.. saari jannathe …”

#52WoG : The City you live in.#Bhargavi

Just out of college and no where to go. Yes, literally nowhere to go.

I landed in Bangalore with a job at a lawyer’s office as an assitant counsel for a meagre pay of Rs.1000/- per month. The dust and the pollution was something I was not used to. There was a time when I thought Bangaore will always be a place where I earn my bread and nothing more than that.

But the thing is, Bangalore grew on me. Between growing in that office and migrating to a different job and then shifting back to law practice, Bangalore was not just the place which gave my livelihood, it became a home. A home away from home.

I am thankful to the city for giving me  a chance to survive on my own and yet did not overwhelm me. Bangalore made me feel like "I belong". I am grateful that the city is metropolitan yet has retained its cultural heritage intact. You could be dancing the night away pubbing one day and attending a Indian Classical music concert the next. Catch a hollywood flick, eat continental food and also watch theatre shows and hog at Darshinis. 

Bangalore gave me wings yet kept me rooted. Thank you Bangalore. You rock babeh.

#52WoG: A Family Member #Kavya

“You are mad to even think of watching a movie like that”, this is one of the most frequently heard one-liner in the conversations related to sandalwood.  I am not sure since when I am crazy about Kannada movies but I know the reason behind that. Every movie that I watched used to linger its effect for a minimum of 7 days during my preteen phase.  

It was not even about a particular hero or a fan frenzy thing; it was movies; not people associated with it.  After watching the movie “Hrudaya Haaditu” I wanted to have a hole in my heart, recollects mom. I know who transferred this obsession to me, my maama – my maternal uncle who is no more. He used to bunk work and take me for a movie, not just any random day but first day first show.  

There are tales of how maama always wanted me by his side during my summer vacations. He would come to my school the day I wrote my last paper of that year’s final exam, pick me in my uniform and reach native (thank god there was no concept of summer classes back then). He did not want me to waste a single day of my summer vacation at Mysore.  

He would make sure ajji made “gulab jamoons” by the time we reached home & together we would relish them after lunch.  One lovely chore that both of us loved to do was managing the audio cassettes. We numbered them alphabetically and the same numbers written against the movie names on a sheet of paper. He had close to 800 cassettes back then, too bad that we hardly use them now but I had no idea that day, today it will be reserved as a memory, as his memory.  

I need to thank him for showering his crazy passion of movies to me. Not because they work as entertainment today, but every time TV airs the movie we watched together I recollect the lovely moments we spent watching that movie with him. 

#52WoG : Something someone gave you #Arundhati

Z, we had been friends for almost ten years. I used to be your friend, your support and also your favourite person to pick on. The ten years comprised of laughter, fights, jokes, insane pranks and sharing everything about our lives. Discussing boyfriends, talking about family issues, etc. 

Things got bitter between us when finally I deciding to no longer be your friend. It hurt to be always ridiculed, taunted, insulted by you. I have never cut of relationships in my life. But this had to be done. Nothing or no one was able to put in some sense for you to understand that you were hurting your friends with your behaviour. Specially, your best friend. 

Though, we barely speak – an occasional ‘hi’ on whatsapp or sms to wish on birthdays and festivals; I have two gifts from you that I will cherish forever. A beautiful painting of Ganpati to adorn my bedroom wall when you were leaving India for good. It was a beautiful gesture from you specially because you believed in a different God, a different religion and said ‘I know this God brings you luck and success, so I got this specially for you.’ I still have tears rolling down my eyes when I revisit that memory. Not an idol worshipper, I still hold that painting closest to my heart. The second most beautiful gift which I have kept is a perfume bottle you had got me. Its been seven years, I use it sparingly when I miss you. Unfortunately, things will never be the same. But I am glad we have beautiful memories and anecdotes which always bring a smile on my face! 

Wish you love and happiness always, Z! As you would always say ‘Inshallah’ ... 

#52WoG : Something someone gave you #Bhargavi

I am a hoarder. 

Naturally, I have kept a lot of things people have given me over the years. Last year, I felt this need to de-clutter and wanted to throw (sounds too harsh to even say it) away stuff I had kept for so long. 

Easier said than done! Sigh.   

As always, I digress. The post is about something someone gave you and the first thought that flashed through my mind was not about things. Ideally speaking, those are what I am more grateful for.   

Never mind my transgressing mind, I will write about a thing. A thing that has long lost its utility value but is still very precious to me and I am emotionally attached to it.   

We had just started dating. This was 2006. I had recently started working and had no fancy cell phone. The good old Nokia 3310 was my mode of connecting with people. One day he saw me listening to the radio on my phone and asked, “You like listening to music?” I replied, “Yes, on the go. When I am commuting to and from work. But these radio stations play more ads than they play songs.” The conversation went on to other topics.   

He met me that weekend and there was this small gift box waiting for me. Inside the box, lay a Nokia Express Music series small little phone, white in colour and very handy to carry. I fell in love with the phone instantly. I was also very possessive about it. The phone fell, slipped, was thrown (at him, cos he would irritate me with his lame jokes at wrong time) and was abused by my thumbs. Gradually, the worn out phone died on me. But the dead body (with all its cracks from throwing it and missing the aim) still lies with me. Neatly packed in a Blue Gift Wrap. Many phones came and went but they aren't hoarded.   

It was precious to me because it was a gift from him. It was precious because he wanted me to have something better than what I previously owned. It was precious because, it showed his love and care.   

I believe I had said I love you many times.. but I had never said how grateful I was to have found love at that time. I will always be grateful for thing because it will remind me of some of the best times of my life and how I cherish those moments.   

(PS: I had written this days ago but was not too sure if I wanted to post this. Because, I wasn't liking how most of my posts for #52WoG was about him and the irony is that we aren't even together any more. After a lot of thinking, I concluded ..what the heck.. I am grateful for this so I will post this anyway)

#52WoG: A Family Member #Bhargavi

Who am I most thankful for in this whole universe? My sister. My Miki.

Bhumika (who we all call, Miki) is a little more than 3 years older to me. Growing up, there was a lot of resentment towards her and subconsciously I had hoarded an inexplicable contempt towards her though I loved my sister. Yes, I loved her and also resented her. You got that right. But this was when I was too young.

We (siblings), had drifted apart emotionally & mentally after we lost what I call losing our childhood, though we lived in the same house and same boarding schools. I thought it was her duty to replace my mother and stand up for me. Fast forward to college, when we were in different cities. She once wrote me a letter, and explained in a simple plain language that she understands how I hold her responsible for not taking care of me or not standing up for me. I was stumped for I had never expressed this angst in words to anyone. She also said that I ought to realize that while I was very young, she wasn’t all of a grown up either and she was also a little child to be taking care or standing up for the younger sister. From then on, there is no resentment. Just love.

No, we are not the kind of sisters who express their love for each other or never fight. We are quite the opposite. We always fight but never express love in words. But we know that no matter what, I will love her to death and be there for her and that she loves me to the moon and back. We fight so much that the youngest chikkamma (chaachi) had once said, the two of you can stay together peacefully only for 2 hours and thereafter world war ensues. This makes me smile now. We fight a lot less now. May be it’s growing up or may be because we hardly get much time together these days. We still do not express our love in words. But in action, she has shown that she loves almost as much as a mother loves her child. She has done things for me and to me, that only a mother would have done for a child. All this she has done selflessly and without expecting anything in return. Not even a “Thank you”. This reminds me, I have never thanked her for all that she has done….

So here it goes, Miki .. Thank You .. for everything.

(P.S: My last 2 posts have been pretty long and boring but sorry I could not help it)

#52WoG: Family #Bhargavi

Firstly, apologies for the delay in putting up this post. The post will however also explain the reasan for the delay.

I initially thought that “Family” as Topic 3 of Fifty Two Weeks of Gratitude came at a wrong time. But how wrong was I!!!

I wasn’t really feeling grateful to family owing to certain reasons or certain members of the family when week 3 approached. I was battling a fight that I wished I didn’t have to. Then I had to take off and go home because sister was finally getting married. Yes, the use of the word “finally” is deliberate. She met this boy and they fell in love around 17 years ago. For some reasons, the wedding was not happening and neither of them was willing to marry anyone else. Things miraculously fell in place and the wedding date was fixed as January 26, 2015.

I left for home on 17^th January. Ours is a pretty big family (well, by south Indian standards, may be just another normal family) that was once a joint family and still continues to be a closely knit family. There was so much to do and so many things that had to be managed. There was whole lot of family coming in and everything and everyone had to be looked after. I was worried when I left Bangalore. But I didn’t have to. My almost a dozen set of uncles were with my brother, dealing with the sister’s in-laws and maasi’s had taken over the kitchen duties. For all the days I stayed home, I did not cook even for a single day. The cook was called only for 2 days and the rest of the fortnight, my maasi’s managed it all between them.

My cousins were so great!! The boys helped with a lot of chores, running around, getting things, fixing stuff, travelling to and fro (to Hassan & Sakleshpur from the estate and back) and the girls helped sister with whatever she had asked them to (which was not much as my sister had pretty much arranged everything before hand) and kept her entertained throughout.

It was my sister’s wedding. Almost all the cousin’s Whatsapp Status was about her wedding and most of them also had her picture as DP. They sang, they danced and made merry like never before. The happiness was so evident on the face of everyone who was around us. I am sure you are not getting why this is a big deal. I am certain that I am unable to explain how it felt in words. But trust me when I say this, it was overwhelming. One might say, almost every family sings and dances in weddings. But this is not the same. It was not just the day of the wedding or not just dancing, what I saw, felt and lived was how each and every one of those family member that was a part of our happiness, was genuinely happy for my sister and how happy it made the whole bunch. Happiness was infectious.

The night of the wedding, when we all got back home and sister went to her sasuraal, there was so much noise and quiet at the same time. It was a state of mind. A single state of mind for all those who were at home, happy for the eldest of the family, yet sad that she had left our home for good this time. This post is getting LOOOONG and I am still unable to convey how it felt. For one, I felt thankful. I am sure if my parents were seeing this from above, they would have shed a tear two and their hearts would be filled with gratitude too, seeing how much love their eldest daughter has gathered.

So I end this post, which may not make any sense to you, with a lot of gratitude. Here’s thanking each and every one of my uncles, aunts, cousins and my brother, who made the wedding so memorable and happy.

Love

Bee

#52WoG: A family member #Arundhati

She passed away on 25th September, last year. 

I have tried writing about my Aji (maternal grandma) a couple of times but haven’t been able to get myself to write without crying inconsolably.  Someday, I will be able to write. Till then I hold you close; in my dreams and memories.  

These couple of lines from a poem by K.C. perfectly describes what I feel...  

"Those special memories of you  will always bring a smile 
If only I could have you back  for just a little while  
Then we could sit and talk again  just like we used to do  
You always meant so very much  and always will do too..."

Love you, Aji .. Miss you.

#52WoG: Family #Kavya

Shelly and Missy!!!  

Family lifts us from all the junk life throws at us; it never promises happiness but will make sure that one smiles; during situations which make you feel otherwise. The moment I announced the world that I am expecting twins, the only statement I heard was, “It’s not going to be easy”. I planned. I prepared. I executed as well. But god had different plans. The caretaker episode could actually be another post, but post-delivery I struggled and how!  

But if I want to jot down what was the struggle about, mind goes blank; all I remember is Shelly and Missy talking to each other first time or how Missy crawled or Shelly’s Johny Johny Yes Papa. The struggle seems to have been negated by all the wonderful things these babies offer me every day.  

Ajji  

My greatest mood lifter has been this blogpost written ages ago. Although the situation and the outcome do not make any sense today, it gives me a hope – about my connection with grandma that even my mom did not share. For the past few months or so, I have a new meaning to the word family – its someone who do not have any expectation and its someone who gives everything unconditionally.  Shelly, Missy and Ajji fit into that. My Family.

#52WoG: A Family Member #Sameer

Unlike the earlier posts, I was very clear in my mind about who I was going to write about in this post. And yet, it took time for me to put it down. This is because the person I am going to be writing about means the whole damn world to me - my mother. :) I have so much to say that I don't know what to include and what not. So I guess I will just go with the flow here.  

On the surface, a mother being special to you seems a pretty obvious thing. After all, who else could do so much for you? Giving birth to you after going through a whole lot of upheaval, physical pain and inconvenience, continue looking after you till you are good enough to send out in the big bad world out there, making your well being a priority, sorry, the priority of their lives, essentially making you the person you are AND yet not making a big deal of it. I don't know about others, but if I did that much for someone, I would make sure they hear about it regularly. My mom doesn't, and that is just one of the things that makes her so special. :)  

If you have read my previous post, you will know that I was born a premature baby, with the docs unsure whether I would survive. That would not have been easy for anyone, least of all for the lady who had carried me for so long within herself. I can only imagine how it would have felt to be in her place, especially given that she is the worrying kind, not a (relatively) carefree soul like my dad. Yet, she persevered with me and did the best that she could to raise me as a good kid (on whether she succeeded or not, I won't comment :D) You might remember reading this quote Rather than worrying about leaving a better world for your children, try leaving better children for the world. She was someone who actually worked towards that without saying it in as many words.  

If I describe how my mom loves me and has taken care of me so far, I would be only stating the obvious. At the risk of being called a mumma's boy, I will still say that I don't think anyone will ever love me the way she has, and vice versa. The most important thing that she has given me (apart from my existence itself) is a strong value system. Every time I feel tempted to take the shortcut to achieve something, I always pause and ask myself if it is the right way to do it. Would mom do the same if she was in my position? If it feels even a bit off, I don't do it. This simple question has helped me more than anything else, not to mention kept me out of trouble and helped me sleep well at night. Yes, I have faltered at times and made the wrong calls, but then, I will happily take the blame for that. :) So, if you feel like praising me for being a good boy, you know where the credit goes.  

I could say a lot more here, but there is just one thing that really sums it all up. If not for my mother, I would not have been half the person I am today. She has made me what I am today, and I will always be thankful to her for that. I am not a believer, but if anything has prevented me from being an atheist, it is this woman. If there exists a mother, God surely has a chance of existing somewhere. :)

#52WoG: Family #Arundhati

A six letter word but sums up the biggest and the most important part of my universe.  My family is my backbone and I am lucky to have such wonderful, loving and understanding  parents.   

My dad has always been gregarious and I have always been daddy's little girl. Mom always played the referee when it came to our sibling conflicts and later on a friend.  I have always been honest with my parents about everything and they have always supported me in my decisions; stood by me when I decided to take risks and pampered me silly sometimes.  

My brother has always been my critic and my friend.  We have had our insane laughs, cranky fights and the 'Hey just get lost and mind your own business' days. And now Sunny is a part of my family too. He is my best friend and my love.  

I have been fortunate to have amazing grandparents. My family has taught me that success and humility go hand in hand.  And very soon I will be a part of another family. Our family.

#52WoG : Family #Sameer

The very first thought that came to my mind when I read the topic for this week was whether to stick to the technical definition of family or to follow my own definition. After lots of thought, I decided that since this is my family, and hence my post, it has to be my definition of family. :)   

I think everybody has their own definition of what family is. My definition is rather simple - Individuals who have made my life (both personal and professional) what it is today, and without whom life just wouldn't be the same. So, my family includes  my parents, some of my cherished relatives (I know that sounds like an oxymoron, but it holds true), a handful of friends who would do anything to see me happy (and vice versa) and some of my professional colleagues/mentors who have helped me make a career for myself. This is not a huge family at all, maybe just under a dozen, but I couldn't have asked for a better one. And since this is such a motley crew, I won't classify them further. Instead, I will jump into telling you why I am thankful to have them around.  

I was born a premature baby, someone about whose survival the doctors weren't really optimistic about. But there were 2 people who believed that I will (no points for guessing who), and I did. Maybe they did it by default, but I know they did it with all they had. Even today, if I am unwell, I see the worry in my mom's eyes and I know that even if the entire world turns against me, there will be one person who will still love me the way she always has. Dad, on the other hand, is more of a silent spectator. He has his flaws as a person, but as a father, he has done more than what I would have done if I was in his place. If reincarnation is a real thing, I want the same parents next time round. Period.  

People talk about 3 AM friends, and how one should consider themselves lucky if they have one. I have been having them even before I knew of that phrase. Needless to say, these are the friends I made early on in life, in my formative years. We have been through thick and thin, happiness and grief (and yes, at times, we have given grief to each other as well) but the bond remains strong as ever. With some of these, I am in touch only via email (that too, once a month or so) but I know that whenever we get in touch, we simply pick up from where we left last time and carry on as if we never stopped. It takes a rare fortune to have people like these around, and I am thankful for their presence in my life.  

One generally does not expect colleagues/professional mentors to be counted as family, perhaps because we have this vague belief that work is not life. Well, considering that we typically spend at least 30% of our lives working, I would say that work is indeed life, and colleagues can be family. A couple of colleagues (who then grew into real good friends/mentors) are examples of this. These are my mirrors, so to say - unafraid to show me exactly where I am goofing up and always being there for me whenever I feel lost or unsure. More than anything else, work was not a place where I expected to forge friendships, which makes it all the more special.  

That is it - a few words about the people I call family. I could go on and on, but then, to me, family is not about words, it is about actions. Also, the next post will be about a family member. So, off I go. Stay happy, stay grateful. :)

52WoG: Family #Samarpita

Third week of gratitude. And this week, the topic is family.

It's difficult to express gratitude for the people you had no role in choosing and can never let go off. Of course, that stands true the other way round too.

If I think, I have three families. The one I was born to, the one I acquired and the one I made. 

The family I was born to: I didn't choose them but they did choose me in some way. My parents wanted a daughter and had names shortlisted only for a girl. My mother was told, there is a risk of her not surviving if she went ahead with her pregnancy. So yes, I was born to parents who wanted me. And were so content with me, they made a decision to not have more. (I suspect since neither wanted a son, they didn't want to take any risks :P )

That itself is a lot to be grateful for. To be born to parents who wanted you and only you, never tried to dominate your choices or not give you space (I am the only child, it was a luxury to get 'space'). I grew up to be much lesser than what they or the rest of my family, and the generations before had achieved in life - still all my mother has against me is, I don't take care enough care of my health. I was never pampered or spoilt, instead brought up to be independent. One cannot thank their parents in a blog post, so I will just stop. 

For the rest of my family, I wouldn't want to trade or do away with even one of them. I haven't compared my family with any other, so saying I have the best will sound stupid, but yes, I am very content with the family I have. 

The family I acquired: For being nothing like the horrible in-law families I hear about but most importantly, for giving me Sankalp. 

The family I made: I have no idea how I survived life without him. We have had some very rough patches, still do and will always do. We are in no way similar and fight like crazy teenagers but he and I make the family, our family. 

#52WoG: Spouse/Significant Other #Kavya

Being in a relationship for 5yrs, dreaming about retirement and almost making plans for kids, break up took a huge toil on me. The worst being "we listened to you, you failed. Now you have to listen to you coz we know what is good for you".

I did. Not that I had no option. But, I thought maybe they are right. And I got married. Nothing was right from the day we met till the wedding: I wanted to run away. It was not the possessiveness but men are superior mentality that was killing me. How can I live I thought; but yes by now I had no option.

I am a happy person; I find things that makes me happy or make sure I'm happy with what I have got. I chose the later. The first 6 months of marriage were horrible; I hardly ate food. His thoughts and mine clashed, I broke down to mother. She had few words and I knew that would be it "it's common you have to adjust".

Since then, my world has been just that. Those words; no, I'm not adjusting. I'm living a very happy life. How? Twitter has been my saviour in that aspect. I knit a story, of how my husband should be. And I believe and trust that is how it is. I have been running away from reality and will continue to do so. Why? Because I tried telling this to two people; they just didn't understand. And I'm scared my imagination will be messed up too.

Why all this as part of gratitude? The man has given me two things  - being independent (commuting wise) - he actually had the patience to teach me  driving for 6 months and bonds !!

And relationships differ no? Like how Sachin is an amazing batsman but a bad captain?! Yeah so!

#52WoG: Spouse/Significant Other #Arundhati

For me “Love has to be unconditional”. I have been in love before but there were always conditions by the significant other based on my weight, my education or simply the caste I belong to. Every condition has only broken my heart and sometimes made me feel miserable about myself. I had started to believe that love from your partner can never be without conditions until I met Sunny.

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Dearest Sunny,

Words have never failed me .. but this is a mere child-like appreciation of being with you.

When I think of you..

- I have a smile adorning my face

When I think of you..

- My day starts happy and bright

When I think of you..

- I want the time to standstill 

When I think of you..

- I feel blessed to be loved by you

When I think of you..

- You evoke a crazy laugh

When I think of you..

- I feel a fervor in my heart

When I think of you..

- I love being a fool with you

When I think of you..

- I know our feelings are true

When I think of you..

- I want words to flow

When I think of you..

- I am weakened by the love you show

When I think of you..

- I think of the talks we have

When I think of you..

- I miss you when you are away

When I think of you..

- I want a romantic hug

When I think of you..

- I want to Thank You for being ‘You’

I love you :-)…