This was something that I thought would be easy to write about. After all, I have always been more on the giving side than on the receiving side of gifts. Or so I thought. Turns out, it is not like that. There is a lot that I have received from loved ones – many gifts, tangible as well as intangible. While some of them had an occasion tied to them (most commonly, my birthday), some were given just like that. And being the hoarder that I am when it comes to gifts, I still have each and every gift with me. Except for one, which I am going to write about today.
Just like the gift, the person who gave me the gift has also got lost in the sands of time (which have blown rather rapidly). The gift that I am talking about is a small teddy bear, given to me by my ex. Normally, one is not supposed to talk about such gifts for the fear of digging up painful memories. I, however find a smile on my lips when I remember Dubby as we used to call him. Rather than looking at it as a memoir of something that no longer exists, I prefer to look at it as a recollection of something beautiful that was. Now funnily, I was never supposed to have/get Dubby. It was on a random Saturday evening that I happened to notice this small teddy bear in a shop window. Stuffed toys were never (and still aren’t) my thing – I am a card/letter/note person. I told her that I liked it and want to buy it for her. “Oh that? No. That isn’t too great,” was her casual reply. After some time, I forgot about it. Next evening, she handed me over the very same teddy and said, “This is Dubby. Keep him with you whenever I am not there. He is my private detective and will keep a watch on you.”
After that, Dubby was a permanent fixture on my home desk. Even when she ceased to be a part of my life, Dubby was still there. Even with all the memories attached, Dubby never brought any grief to me. He just stood there and witnessed the ups and downs I went through. He watched me break down to pieces, and then rebuild myself again – with the same unrelenting, if artificial, smile. One day, when I was not home, one of my baby nieces took a liking to Dubby and mom gave it away to her. It was a couple of days before I realized that. I didn’t feel sad. I think Dubby had already completed his designated job of keeping an eye on me. It was time for him to move on to another assignment.
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