#52WoG: A Family Member #Bhargavi

Who am I most thankful for in this whole universe? My sister. My Miki.

Bhumika (who we all call, Miki) is a little more than 3 years older to me. Growing up, there was a lot of resentment towards her and subconsciously I had hoarded an inexplicable contempt towards her though I loved my sister. Yes, I loved her and also resented her. You got that right. But this was when I was too young.

We (siblings), had drifted apart emotionally & mentally after we lost what I call losing our childhood, though we lived in the same house and same boarding schools. I thought it was her duty to replace my mother and stand up for me. Fast forward to college, when we were in different cities. She once wrote me a letter, and explained in a simple plain language that she understands how I hold her responsible for not taking care of me or not standing up for me. I was stumped for I had never expressed this angst in words to anyone. She also said that I ought to realize that while I was very young, she wasn’t all of a grown up either and she was also a little child to be taking care or standing up for the younger sister. From then on, there is no resentment. Just love.

No, we are not the kind of sisters who express their love for each other or never fight. We are quite the opposite. We always fight but never express love in words. But we know that no matter what, I will love her to death and be there for her and that she loves me to the moon and back. We fight so much that the youngest chikkamma (chaachi) had once said, the two of you can stay together peacefully only for 2 hours and thereafter world war ensues. This makes me smile now. We fight a lot less now. May be it’s growing up or may be because we hardly get much time together these days. We still do not express our love in words. But in action, she has shown that she loves almost as much as a mother loves her child. She has done things for me and to me, that only a mother would have done for a child. All this she has done selflessly and without expecting anything in return. Not even a “Thank you”. This reminds me, I have never thanked her for all that she has done….

So here it goes, Miki .. Thank You .. for everything.

(P.S: My last 2 posts have been pretty long and boring but sorry I could not help it)

#52WoG: Family #Bhargavi

Firstly, apologies for the delay in putting up this post. The post will however also explain the reasan for the delay.

I initially thought that “Family” as Topic 3 of Fifty Two Weeks of Gratitude came at a wrong time. But how wrong was I!!!

I wasn’t really feeling grateful to family owing to certain reasons or certain members of the family when week 3 approached. I was battling a fight that I wished I didn’t have to. Then I had to take off and go home because sister was finally getting married. Yes, the use of the word “finally” is deliberate. She met this boy and they fell in love around 17 years ago. For some reasons, the wedding was not happening and neither of them was willing to marry anyone else. Things miraculously fell in place and the wedding date was fixed as January 26, 2015.

I left for home on 17^th January. Ours is a pretty big family (well, by south Indian standards, may be just another normal family) that was once a joint family and still continues to be a closely knit family. There was so much to do and so many things that had to be managed. There was whole lot of family coming in and everything and everyone had to be looked after. I was worried when I left Bangalore. But I didn’t have to. My almost a dozen set of uncles were with my brother, dealing with the sister’s in-laws and maasi’s had taken over the kitchen duties. For all the days I stayed home, I did not cook even for a single day. The cook was called only for 2 days and the rest of the fortnight, my maasi’s managed it all between them.

My cousins were so great!! The boys helped with a lot of chores, running around, getting things, fixing stuff, travelling to and fro (to Hassan & Sakleshpur from the estate and back) and the girls helped sister with whatever she had asked them to (which was not much as my sister had pretty much arranged everything before hand) and kept her entertained throughout.

It was my sister’s wedding. Almost all the cousin’s Whatsapp Status was about her wedding and most of them also had her picture as DP. They sang, they danced and made merry like never before. The happiness was so evident on the face of everyone who was around us. I am sure you are not getting why this is a big deal. I am certain that I am unable to explain how it felt in words. But trust me when I say this, it was overwhelming. One might say, almost every family sings and dances in weddings. But this is not the same. It was not just the day of the wedding or not just dancing, what I saw, felt and lived was how each and every one of those family member that was a part of our happiness, was genuinely happy for my sister and how happy it made the whole bunch. Happiness was infectious.

The night of the wedding, when we all got back home and sister went to her sasuraal, there was so much noise and quiet at the same time. It was a state of mind. A single state of mind for all those who were at home, happy for the eldest of the family, yet sad that she had left our home for good this time. This post is getting LOOOONG and I am still unable to convey how it felt. For one, I felt thankful. I am sure if my parents were seeing this from above, they would have shed a tear two and their hearts would be filled with gratitude too, seeing how much love their eldest daughter has gathered.

So I end this post, which may not make any sense to you, with a lot of gratitude. Here’s thanking each and every one of my uncles, aunts, cousins and my brother, who made the wedding so memorable and happy.

Love

Bee

#52WoG: A family member #Arundhati

She passed away on 25th September, last year. 

I have tried writing about my Aji (maternal grandma) a couple of times but haven’t been able to get myself to write without crying inconsolably.  Someday, I will be able to write. Till then I hold you close; in my dreams and memories.  

These couple of lines from a poem by K.C. perfectly describes what I feel...  

"Those special memories of you  will always bring a smile 
If only I could have you back  for just a little while  
Then we could sit and talk again  just like we used to do  
You always meant so very much  and always will do too..."

Love you, Aji .. Miss you.

#52WoG: Family #Kavya

Shelly and Missy!!!  

Family lifts us from all the junk life throws at us; it never promises happiness but will make sure that one smiles; during situations which make you feel otherwise. The moment I announced the world that I am expecting twins, the only statement I heard was, “It’s not going to be easy”. I planned. I prepared. I executed as well. But god had different plans. The caretaker episode could actually be another post, but post-delivery I struggled and how!  

But if I want to jot down what was the struggle about, mind goes blank; all I remember is Shelly and Missy talking to each other first time or how Missy crawled or Shelly’s Johny Johny Yes Papa. The struggle seems to have been negated by all the wonderful things these babies offer me every day.  

Ajji  

My greatest mood lifter has been this blogpost written ages ago. Although the situation and the outcome do not make any sense today, it gives me a hope – about my connection with grandma that even my mom did not share. For the past few months or so, I have a new meaning to the word family – its someone who do not have any expectation and its someone who gives everything unconditionally.  Shelly, Missy and Ajji fit into that. My Family.