#52WoG: A Family Member #Sameer

Unlike the earlier posts, I was very clear in my mind about who I was going to write about in this post. And yet, it took time for me to put it down. This is because the person I am going to be writing about means the whole damn world to me - my mother. :) I have so much to say that I don't know what to include and what not. So I guess I will just go with the flow here.  

On the surface, a mother being special to you seems a pretty obvious thing. After all, who else could do so much for you? Giving birth to you after going through a whole lot of upheaval, physical pain and inconvenience, continue looking after you till you are good enough to send out in the big bad world out there, making your well being a priority, sorry, the priority of their lives, essentially making you the person you are AND yet not making a big deal of it. I don't know about others, but if I did that much for someone, I would make sure they hear about it regularly. My mom doesn't, and that is just one of the things that makes her so special. :)  

If you have read my previous post, you will know that I was born a premature baby, with the docs unsure whether I would survive. That would not have been easy for anyone, least of all for the lady who had carried me for so long within herself. I can only imagine how it would have felt to be in her place, especially given that she is the worrying kind, not a (relatively) carefree soul like my dad. Yet, she persevered with me and did the best that she could to raise me as a good kid (on whether she succeeded or not, I won't comment :D) You might remember reading this quote Rather than worrying about leaving a better world for your children, try leaving better children for the world. She was someone who actually worked towards that without saying it in as many words.  

If I describe how my mom loves me and has taken care of me so far, I would be only stating the obvious. At the risk of being called a mumma's boy, I will still say that I don't think anyone will ever love me the way she has, and vice versa. The most important thing that she has given me (apart from my existence itself) is a strong value system. Every time I feel tempted to take the shortcut to achieve something, I always pause and ask myself if it is the right way to do it. Would mom do the same if she was in my position? If it feels even a bit off, I don't do it. This simple question has helped me more than anything else, not to mention kept me out of trouble and helped me sleep well at night. Yes, I have faltered at times and made the wrong calls, but then, I will happily take the blame for that. :) So, if you feel like praising me for being a good boy, you know where the credit goes.  

I could say a lot more here, but there is just one thing that really sums it all up. If not for my mother, I would not have been half the person I am today. She has made me what I am today, and I will always be thankful to her for that. I am not a believer, but if anything has prevented me from being an atheist, it is this woman. If there exists a mother, God surely has a chance of existing somewhere. :)

#52WoG: Family #Arundhati

A six letter word but sums up the biggest and the most important part of my universe.  My family is my backbone and I am lucky to have such wonderful, loving and understanding  parents.   

My dad has always been gregarious and I have always been daddy's little girl. Mom always played the referee when it came to our sibling conflicts and later on a friend.  I have always been honest with my parents about everything and they have always supported me in my decisions; stood by me when I decided to take risks and pampered me silly sometimes.  

My brother has always been my critic and my friend.  We have had our insane laughs, cranky fights and the 'Hey just get lost and mind your own business' days. And now Sunny is a part of my family too. He is my best friend and my love.  

I have been fortunate to have amazing grandparents. My family has taught me that success and humility go hand in hand.  And very soon I will be a part of another family. Our family.

#52WoG : Family #Sameer

The very first thought that came to my mind when I read the topic for this week was whether to stick to the technical definition of family or to follow my own definition. After lots of thought, I decided that since this is my family, and hence my post, it has to be my definition of family. :)   

I think everybody has their own definition of what family is. My definition is rather simple - Individuals who have made my life (both personal and professional) what it is today, and without whom life just wouldn't be the same. So, my family includes  my parents, some of my cherished relatives (I know that sounds like an oxymoron, but it holds true), a handful of friends who would do anything to see me happy (and vice versa) and some of my professional colleagues/mentors who have helped me make a career for myself. This is not a huge family at all, maybe just under a dozen, but I couldn't have asked for a better one. And since this is such a motley crew, I won't classify them further. Instead, I will jump into telling you why I am thankful to have them around.  

I was born a premature baby, someone about whose survival the doctors weren't really optimistic about. But there were 2 people who believed that I will (no points for guessing who), and I did. Maybe they did it by default, but I know they did it with all they had. Even today, if I am unwell, I see the worry in my mom's eyes and I know that even if the entire world turns against me, there will be one person who will still love me the way she always has. Dad, on the other hand, is more of a silent spectator. He has his flaws as a person, but as a father, he has done more than what I would have done if I was in his place. If reincarnation is a real thing, I want the same parents next time round. Period.  

People talk about 3 AM friends, and how one should consider themselves lucky if they have one. I have been having them even before I knew of that phrase. Needless to say, these are the friends I made early on in life, in my formative years. We have been through thick and thin, happiness and grief (and yes, at times, we have given grief to each other as well) but the bond remains strong as ever. With some of these, I am in touch only via email (that too, once a month or so) but I know that whenever we get in touch, we simply pick up from where we left last time and carry on as if we never stopped. It takes a rare fortune to have people like these around, and I am thankful for their presence in my life.  

One generally does not expect colleagues/professional mentors to be counted as family, perhaps because we have this vague belief that work is not life. Well, considering that we typically spend at least 30% of our lives working, I would say that work is indeed life, and colleagues can be family. A couple of colleagues (who then grew into real good friends/mentors) are examples of this. These are my mirrors, so to say - unafraid to show me exactly where I am goofing up and always being there for me whenever I feel lost or unsure. More than anything else, work was not a place where I expected to forge friendships, which makes it all the more special.  

That is it - a few words about the people I call family. I could go on and on, but then, to me, family is not about words, it is about actions. Also, the next post will be about a family member. So, off I go. Stay happy, stay grateful. :)

52WoG: Family #Samarpita

Third week of gratitude. And this week, the topic is family.

It's difficult to express gratitude for the people you had no role in choosing and can never let go off. Of course, that stands true the other way round too.

If I think, I have three families. The one I was born to, the one I acquired and the one I made. 

The family I was born to: I didn't choose them but they did choose me in some way. My parents wanted a daughter and had names shortlisted only for a girl. My mother was told, there is a risk of her not surviving if she went ahead with her pregnancy. So yes, I was born to parents who wanted me. And were so content with me, they made a decision to not have more. (I suspect since neither wanted a son, they didn't want to take any risks :P )

That itself is a lot to be grateful for. To be born to parents who wanted you and only you, never tried to dominate your choices or not give you space (I am the only child, it was a luxury to get 'space'). I grew up to be much lesser than what they or the rest of my family, and the generations before had achieved in life - still all my mother has against me is, I don't take care enough care of my health. I was never pampered or spoilt, instead brought up to be independent. One cannot thank their parents in a blog post, so I will just stop. 

For the rest of my family, I wouldn't want to trade or do away with even one of them. I haven't compared my family with any other, so saying I have the best will sound stupid, but yes, I am very content with the family I have. 

The family I acquired: For being nothing like the horrible in-law families I hear about but most importantly, for giving me Sankalp. 

The family I made: I have no idea how I survived life without him. We have had some very rough patches, still do and will always do. We are in no way similar and fight like crazy teenagers but he and I make the family, our family. 

#52WoG: Spouse/Significant Other #Kavya

Being in a relationship for 5yrs, dreaming about retirement and almost making plans for kids, break up took a huge toil on me. The worst being "we listened to you, you failed. Now you have to listen to you coz we know what is good for you".

I did. Not that I had no option. But, I thought maybe they are right. And I got married. Nothing was right from the day we met till the wedding: I wanted to run away. It was not the possessiveness but men are superior mentality that was killing me. How can I live I thought; but yes by now I had no option.

I am a happy person; I find things that makes me happy or make sure I'm happy with what I have got. I chose the later. The first 6 months of marriage were horrible; I hardly ate food. His thoughts and mine clashed, I broke down to mother. She had few words and I knew that would be it "it's common you have to adjust".

Since then, my world has been just that. Those words; no, I'm not adjusting. I'm living a very happy life. How? Twitter has been my saviour in that aspect. I knit a story, of how my husband should be. And I believe and trust that is how it is. I have been running away from reality and will continue to do so. Why? Because I tried telling this to two people; they just didn't understand. And I'm scared my imagination will be messed up too.

Why all this as part of gratitude? The man has given me two things  - being independent (commuting wise) - he actually had the patience to teach me  driving for 6 months and bonds !!

And relationships differ no? Like how Sachin is an amazing batsman but a bad captain?! Yeah so!

#52WoG: Spouse/Significant Other #Arundhati

For me “Love has to be unconditional”. I have been in love before but there were always conditions by the significant other based on my weight, my education or simply the caste I belong to. Every condition has only broken my heart and sometimes made me feel miserable about myself. I had started to believe that love from your partner can never be without conditions until I met Sunny.

.
.
Dearest Sunny,

Words have never failed me .. but this is a mere child-like appreciation of being with you.

When I think of you..

- I have a smile adorning my face

When I think of you..

- My day starts happy and bright

When I think of you..

- I want the time to standstill 

When I think of you..

- I feel blessed to be loved by you

When I think of you..

- You evoke a crazy laugh

When I think of you..

- I feel a fervor in my heart

When I think of you..

- I love being a fool with you

When I think of you..

- I know our feelings are true

When I think of you..

- I want words to flow

When I think of you..

- I am weakened by the love you show

When I think of you..

- I think of the talks we have

When I think of you..

- I miss you when you are away

When I think of you..

- I want a romantic hug

When I think of you..

- I want to Thank You for being ‘You’

I love you :-)…

#52WoG: Spouse/Significant Other #Samarpita

This week, we are showing gratitude to the significant other in our lives. And I seriously don't know where to begin.

Sankalp and I are together because of one impulsive decision we both took. Yet, there have been incidents which have made us believe, we were meant to be. Together.

We are absolute opposites. I had to grow up too early in life, be responsible for my own actions at least and take life seriously. He is still a five year old from with in. His immaturity and the habit to take everything lightly has driven me up the wall all the time, all.the.time. Our personalities fight with each other - me taking life too seriously and he just letting things take their own course. But there is no one, no one I would rather spend my life arguing and making up with.

Much before we decided to marry, we had a rocky relationship. I shut myself off and he made it his life's purpose to break in through the walls. And he did, if I may add he is the only person who has successfully forced himself inside my mind, heart and soul.

1. He has made me relax. I used to be this uptight, nervous person always worried about the future. I still am but believe me, I am 500 % more calm than before. I breathe now, when I worry.

2. He might hurt me all he wants but he doesn't tolerate anyone else doing this. He is the shield I desperately needed.

3. Our vacations. Most couples I know like to do different things on vacations. We love the same and believe me, not having to convince your partner or compromise with what they want, is an immense blessing worth showing your gratitude for!

4. For him, with him, I have seen a very good side to me. I didn't know I could be loyal but with him I am so, effortlessly. I am that content with him.

5. I know it's not possible if you go by the rule book, but I have seen him love and care for my mother, probably more than his own. No, not comparing. Just stating, I know a child will always love his mother the most. But you get the drift, don't you?  The relationship he shares with my mother is so beautiful, one would think he is her offspring. 

6. He tries. You know, how none of us are perfect? Neither is he. He knows his flaws and consistently tries to overcome them one by one. That is so inspiring, such a delight to watch. At times, he needs to be handheld into trying new things or helping me out at home, but he is always so willing better himself. 

7. He balances me. When I am weak, he emerges with a strength I never knew existed in him. He has held me in his arms for hours while I sobbed, helplessly. He has seen me slip into depression and come out, the latter would never have happened had it not been for him. 

One line Sankalp says a lot, "As long as you and I are together, everything else will fall in place." and this one line keeps us moving. I don't know what the future is like, but I hope it's content .. neither of us want a lot out of life, but I hope we are always together. 

I should stop now, I see that he has left the wet towel on my side of the bed and left his wardrobe door open. Oh, Sankalp!

#52WoG: Spouse/Significant Other #Bhargavi

The topic for this week of 52 weeks of gratitude is 'spouse/significant other'.

I am drawing a blank here for I have neither. How do I be thankful for and express gratitude for someone who does not exist? Well, I am about to find out *wink wink*

Long long long long ago, not so long ago (yes sir, I am dramatic) I did have a 'significant' other. We parted ways and we are not together any more but I am thankful to him for a lot of things.

So this week, I will express my gratitude for having him as a part of my life, for whatever time we had together.

I was a fallen leaf, going wherever the wind took me, having him in my life gave me roots. There was a direction in my path of life, thanks to him. He chalked out a way for me, in several avenues and following is the list of things which I am grateful to him for: 

1. Yoga. Any set of physical exercises before him was a No-No. He not only enrolled me but for the first six months, woke me up at 4:30 am religiously, just so that I didn't skip my classes.

2. Keeping track of my expenses. I was bad at handling finances.He made an Excel Worksheet and insisted I make entries every single day.

3. He refused to let me dwell on how bad things were in the past but always listened and encouraged me even, when  I spoke of happy memories. Thus, making me realise happiness can still be a choice and one should let go of bad memories.

4. He believed in my potential and capabilities more than I ever did, thus instilling in me a confidence I thought I lacked.

So, 'A', Thank you. For coming into my life and bringing with you, so many positive changes. We may not be together any longer, we may not talk to each other every day any longer, we may no longer share our lives ... but for all these things and much more, I will always be thankful to you and wish you well.

Much love.

No longer yours, 

B

#52WoG : Why Start The Challenge? #Pratibha

4 PM , some senior PM in office walks up to me and tells me that he has to discuss 2 cases of Appraisal grievance with me. OK ,That hit a panic button deep inside me. An hour later ,I am still dreading the meeting and yet, a little voice is screaming, be thankful its just 2,not more.

Ok, 2 people were not happy with my decision but that does not mean I am entirely wrong ( though , my friend says that if you are making people unhappy, you are definitely on right track ;) )

The meeting was part surprising and lot more enlightening to me. It taught me a lesson I was getting a hint of from some people but probably I needed this jolt to realize it on my own. People everywhere will always want more and expect more from you.But every moment you take a stand and decide not to let it affect your calm,it is a blessed thought. Be thankful for all the moments that led to this freedom and the lesson too.Basically thank your failures for teaching you a lesson.

Be thankful and perhaps make a note of the same. You will someday need to read it again and be glad you wrote about it.

That's why I will try to write more and more of the things , people and moments that are precious to me. 

Much Gratitude is going to tumble out of the heart and hopefully it will keep my heart full of light and free. 

#52WoG: Spouse/Significant Other #Sameer

Well, now this is a tricky one. Considering that I don't have a spouse or a significant other at present, this is something I have nothing to write about, right? Wrong. Just because this does not apply to me at present, it doesn't mean it has never happened to me. It indeed has, and I am grateful for that. Today I will be talking about the times when I had a significant other, and how that changed my life, mostly for the better. Given that she is not a part of my life today, this might seem like a painful exercise. However, I have made peace with my past (another trait that I am thankful for, but more about it sometime else).  

Having grown up as an introvert with not much social skills, it was no surprise that I thought I would never end up with a girlfriend. Add to it my aversion for arranged marriage and I had almost resigned myself to a long life of being single. But then, life did have other plans for me (it has always had). It did bless me with someone to call my own, someone who thought I was good enough to spend her life with. The fact that I managed to convince her after being rejected once added to the entire "Wow..is this really happening?" feeling. So, people who crib about the friendzone, it is not as bad as you think it is. ;)  

Apart from all that has been said above, the real reason I am grateful for this is that it gave me a huge confidence boost which helped me in all areas of my life. Believe me - the mere fact that someone accepts you for what you are and doesn't want you to change (too much) results in a lot of breeze under your wings. It is a fair enough point to say that we should not depend on others for validation. But I can speak from experience that it indeed feels magical when from the right person. :) The other thing that I learnt here is to grow up and think beyond myself. That tends to happen when you are no longer thinking of "me" or "you", but "us". You grow more tolerant and accepting. Invariably, there is friction but you learn to work your way around it. Having those little (or even not so little) fights, making up afterwards, all this adds a flavour to your life that can only be experienced, not described.  

Last, but certainly not the least, I am thankful to her for making my life an incredibly beautiful place, while she was here. I wouldn't trade those days for anything else in the world. :)

#52WoG : Why Start The Challenge? #Sameer

This is perhaps the most difficult, yet the simplest question to answer. So let me get down to it without further ado.Why would someone blog weekly about things that they are grateful for? Wouldn't it amount to "positivity spam" and turn people off? Shouldn't it be obvious to yourself what you are grateful for? Even worse, why does the world need to know what you are grateful for? 

The questions are many, but the answer is a simple one - because we should be doing it, but we end up rarely (or never) doing it. When was the last time we thanked whichever entity we believed in for what we have in our life? When was the last time we said a genuine, heartfelt thanks to someone who made a happy difference to our life? When was the last time we hugged our loved ones and told them what they meant to us? And the biggest one - between a flood of negativity/hatred/blues and a stream of happy, heart-warming stories, which would you prefer to deal with? :) I think that should answer it.

For me, the appeal of this lies in the fact that I will be "consciously" reminding myself of the things that are right with my part of the world. While I am definitely not a cribber, I do tend to get carried away by the rigours of daily life and forget to pause and be grateful for what I have. Keeping myself in the "I get to" zone and away from the "I have to" zone is an added benefit. :)

Here's to a grateful 2015! :)

#52WoG : Why Start The Challenge? #Kavya

I came across the challenge when @Bookluster tweeted about it. Dec has taken a toll on my personal life and I am not able to handle them well. I am often confused about not finding any solutions; meanwhile my soother has been workouts. But I am finding it hard to believe that it is not “writing” but the workouts. 

When I am happy “I write”, when I am sad “I write”, “I write” when I am confused and when I am down “I write” again. I miss that person; I have lost that writer amidst all the chaos; I am starting this challenge to make sure I see ray of light in the form of gratitude in those chaos. 

It will also mean that I will be able to recall about everything I forgot to cherish because I was busy emo-tweeting life away!

#52WoG : Why Start The Challenge? #Arundhati

A few weeks back, I had read a postcard somewhere that said, “It’s not happy people who are thankful, it is thankful people who are happy."

As a child, I remember learning to say ‘Thank You’ to express my gratitude towards someone. Most of us are thankful for our life, the people in our life and the environment around us. But, we rarely take time out to express our gratitude and appreciate the people and situations around us. It’s easier to say a ‘Thank You’ without any meaning to it but more difficult to genuinely feel a sense of gratitude and be grateful.

I have taken up this challenge to say ‘Thank You’ to all the people, places, situations and things that have shaped me to become the person I am.

I start this challenge by thanking Samarpita and Bhargavi for initiating this ‘Gratitude Diary’.

Thank you. :-)

#52WoG : Why Start The Challenge? #Bhargavi

52 weeks of Gratitude. 

I will call it #52WoG. Why? 

Because, I can. Also because I am a twitter addict.   

Why start this Challenge?.   Why!? 

Not just because I can, but because I want to.   

I have had my share of (like almost everyone else) mishaps / bad luck but there have been things that I am thankful for. Most of the times, I have failed to express gratitude because I was too busy moping. This challenge is a way to express my gratitude. To say (more to myself than anyone/any thing else) that I am thankful, for it will remind me that I have so many things / people to be grateful for.   

I have dwelt on the misfortunes quiet a lot. While I was busy braving battles, I had forgotten to dwell on things I should be (and I am too) grateful for, which might have made me a very sad person. This challenge will not only remind of that small blessings / joy I have, but it will also help me remember that despite the gloom, there is always a ray of light to keep me warm.  Ergo, I will be more of a happy person than a sad person.   

This challenge is also a great way to start writing. I am also “hoping” that this challenge, apart from making me happy by reminding me of things I am grateful for, will also help me improve my (almost non-existent) writing skills tremendously. What makes it more dear is that I am doing this Challenge with Samarpita, who I am sure will be my guide through this journey.   

So, here’s to new beginnings, new challenges and a happy journey.   

Happy New Year. Happy #52WoG.

#52WoG : Why Start The Challenge? #Samarpita

This year I plan to write more. Read better and write more. So while I was looking prompts on which I could write. Found this, thanks to an amazing group of bloggers, that I am a part of. 

The idea is to express gratitude. Yes, gratitude needs to be expressed with actions but we forget, don't we? So why not write it down!

Life is different this year. But I cannot deny that there is a lot I am thankful for, despite dreams that have been shattered and uncertainities galore. In this blog, my friend Bhargavi and I shall be blogging about our gratitude. If you want to hop in too, just let us know.

Am attaching the list alongside, in case anyone else wants to pick up the challenge.

Bhargavi can be reached here.

I can be reached here.

Sameer More, Arundhati Kane and Kavya Shankaregowda have also joined us as guest bloggers in this challenge.